Time Out

Parents often ask me about "Time Out": how to do it, at what age, and where is the best place for it. I certainly recommend Time Out as one of the strategies you need in your toolkit for parenting and dealing with tricky behavior. However, time out isn't just for kids! I also use time out for parents as well. You know those days when you are worn out, dinner isn't ready, the kids are starving, you have been up half the night with the baby, and your toddler isn't coping anymore... well, just before you lose it, take a deep breath and realize that it is time for "parent time out". You know, just like they call it in a basketball game... T time out... take yourself and go sit on the back step for 5 minutes, wait, think, and then go back and deal with the situation.

You will find that taking your own time out means that you come back into the kitchen chaos in a far better frame of mind to deal with what is going on. You are likely to realize that being on your knees and negotiating with a very tired and hungry 3-year-old is not getting you anywhere and that the situation isn't going to improve until your 3-year-old has eaten. Give them food. Forget the dinner that will be ready soon; "soon" doesn't cut it for a tired and hungry toddler. Give them cereal or yogurt and a banana and quickly move onto a bath, then bed. The situation will not improve until your toddler has eaten and had a good night's sleep.

Tomorrow morning, your toddler will wake up, arms out, smile at you, and you can simply start again. Time out is a great strategy for parents. You can do it anywhere: sit in the car, on the step, on the toilet, in your bedroom, under a tree in the backyard. We are usually too busy with thoughts of "I can't stop now, I have dinner to cook, children to bathe, books, teeth, and I don't have 5 minutes". Trust me, that 5 minutes is a great investment in the next 40 minutes and how patient you will be and how much more in control you will feel. So, feeling frustrated or flustered? Then think "time out" for you, the parent! Take 5, then try again.

Nicole Pierotti

Originally Published: August 29, 2019

Last Edited: May 10, 2023